Funny Messages - Funny SMS Text SMS Jokes Messages

☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

☻A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

☻At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

☻If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

☻If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

☻Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

☻In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

☻It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

☻i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

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