☻I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

☻im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

☻i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom