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Santa Banta SMS
☻Santa:
Oye! What are you?
Banta: Recording this baby’s voice.
Santa: Why?
Banta: When he grows up.
”
”
”
I shall ask him what he meant by this.
☻A
lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out
☻A
Girl Romantically said to a santa: Do U want to
see the place
where they did Apendix Operation to me?
santa: No, I hate Hospitals.
☻Santa
had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next
day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your
dreams come true...
☻Santa:
Why did the man put his radio in his
refrigerator?
Banta: I give up.
Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool
music
☻santa
asks banta to bring a pepsi. banta brings a
bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener.
☻Pappu:
Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain
his ideas in such a strange and long way that
another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Pappu: No.
☻Banta
was repeatedly buying a movie ticket
seller asked why?
Banta: some stupid standing near the door
is tearing my ticket every time.
☻Santa:
I got married because I was tired of cooking,
cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same
reason.
☻Santa
ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !
☻Banta
Went for Divorce
Judge: You have 3 Kids
How Will you Divide Them?
Banta Thinks Hard & Says,
‘Oye.. IDEA, We’ll Come Next Year With 1 More
☻It
was Santa’s weding aniversary.
Preeto: Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to
celebrate?
Santa: Y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v
hav made
☻Doctor
asks Santa to give urine sample, stool & sperm
sample for his yearly checkup.
Santa: I'm in a hurry doc, can I leave my
underwear!
☻SANTA
goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his
hands,
but start washing the basin Manager:What r u
doing?
SANTA: U have written here “WASH BASIN.”
☻Shopkeeper:
This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals
of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me
warm?
☻Santa-Banta
broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine.
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
“Blood Bank Robbed”
☻Teacher:
What is common between
Buddha,Jesus ,Mahavir and Guru Nanak?
Santa: All of them were born on government
holidays
☻Banta
to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go.
☻Two
days of powercut in Delhi had made life
miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro
station where families of Santa & Banta were
struck for 48 hrs on escalators
☻A
friend asks SANTA how was ur exam?
SANTA: It was ok but i couldn”t answer past
tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote “THUNK”.
☻Santa
cuts sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!
☻Santa
was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just
behind him in the line said: I've seen ur
password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s
1394.
☻What
is the chemical formula 4 water?
SANTA: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt? SANTA:Yesterday u
said H to O
☻A
lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming
daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one
comes out.
☻Santa:
Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
☻Santa:
What”s difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser
& superman wears it over the trouser.
☻Lady
to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy
potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
☻Banta
asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk
in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
☻Santa
opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer
went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
☻Santa
walks into a library & says, “Can I have a
burger and coke?”
Librarian, “I’m sorry, this is a library.
” Santa whispers, “Can I have a burger & coke?”
☻santa
opens his lunch box in the middle of the road
why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming
back from office.
☻Santa
and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the
indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No,
Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
☻Q:
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to
Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’
☻santa
bunks office comes home & finds his wife in bed
with his
boss. Rushes back to office & tells his
colleagues almost got caught bunking?
☻Santa
(reading from book of facts):
“Do you know that every time I breathe a man
dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash?”
☻Santa
phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The
stearing, dash board, gears of car have been
stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming,
earlier I sat on the back seat.
☻Jeeto:
If I die what ‘ll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also
kill a man
☻One
day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,
om our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me your Telephone No
☻How
did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped
it from there to die.
☻santa
: “I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange
Man.”
Friend : “Did u follow them inside?”
“No yaar,” replied santa “I had already SEEN the
Movie !”
☻Santa
giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
☻Titanic
was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
☻Santa
looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen
this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who
married my wife."
☻Wht
is the limit of foolishness?
Santa singh n banta singh fighting for a window
seat on a two wheeler scooter.
☻Santa
was caught for speeding and went before the
judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
☻A
friend to Sardar:
Last year the Name-Plate
outside your house
I read Santa Singh B.A
This year I read Santa Singh M.A
When did you finish yours Master Degree..?
Sardar: You don’t understand.
Last year my wife died.
I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I took a second wife,
so
M.A is married again
☻Santa
standing on platform suddenly jumps on the
railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is
coming on platform.
☻Q:
How did Santa cheat the railways?
A: He bought the ticket and didn”t travel.
☻A
sardar on an interview for the post of detective
was asked
a question -
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate.
☻Banta
owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
☻Lil
Banta: I dreamed last night dat u gave me Rs 500
for Christmas.
Banta Singh: Well, as you”ve been a good boy
lately, you may keep it.
☻Banta:
What”s the difference between an oral
thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
☻Santa:
WHat is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt
mosquito.
☻Banta:When
did George Washington die? Santa: 2 days b4 his
funeral
☻Banta:
tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can
think of……
Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.
☻Banta
ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?
Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also.
☻santa
had called an Englishman for lunch. There was
curd on the
table. The guest asked what is this? santa
didn”t know English,
he said “Milk sleeping in night,morning becomes
tight”
☻An
Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
☻Santa
is so rich he has two swimming pools,
one of which is always empty?
It”s for people who can”t swim!
☻A
lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
☻Santa
Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of
course!
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