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School SMS Jokes
☻A
kid gets zero in a paper
Father angrily asks,
“Wats this?”
Kid : Teacher dint have more stars to give, so
she started giving MOONS..
☻Why
did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
☻TEACHER:
John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I
spell it!
☻When
a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind
him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
☻TEACHER
:Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and
you say so !
☻Why
don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!
☻TEACHER
: What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water
except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
☻TEACHER
: Why does you geography exam have a big zero
over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of
stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
☻LKG
Boy on Phone : My son has a bad cold and won’t
be able to come to school today
☻Teacher
: Who is on the line ?
Boy : This is my father speaking..
☻Why
did Ravi take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
☻Why
was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.
☻Who
should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!
☻TEACHER:
What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
☻Why
does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
☻If
there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out,
how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
☻Teacher
: Isaac Newton
was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on
his head and he discovered gravity.
Student : Right. Had he
sat in the Class, he
wouldn’t have discovered anything.
☻TEACHER:
George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered
America ?
CLASS: George!
☻Mother:
What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to
read yet!
☻TEACHER
– Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am. Teacher – Good. Tell
me.Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .
☻Teacher:
Class, we will have only half days school this
morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this
afternoon
☻TEACHER
– Pappu,
You Missed School yesterday, Didn’t You.?
PAPPU – No, Not a bit Ma’am.!!
☻TEACHER:
“Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the
same day, same time.”
☻TEACHER:
Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
☻TEACHER:
“George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted
doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish
him?”
JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his
hand.”
☻Where
was the Declaration of Independance signed ?
At the bottom !
☻TEACHER:
Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good
cook.
☻TEACHER:
Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy
his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
☻TEACHER:
What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
☻Teacher
: Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.
Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.
☻TEACHER:
Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than
you are.
☻TEACHER
– What are
the people of
Turkey called.?
PAPPU – I don’t know. TEACHER – They are
called Turks.
Tell me What are people
of Germany called.?
PAPPU- Germs
☻TEACHER:
Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet.”
☻Math’s
Teacher: If you have
12 Chocolates and you
-
-
Give 5 to
Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia
-
-
Then what will u get????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
☻My
nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.
GOD replied, “no dear, result is near
☻A
sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.
☻TEACHER
– Draw a
Diagram of bacteria
Sunny – Here it is sir TEACHER – Where.?
You haven’t drawn
anything.
Sunny – Sir Can You
See bacteria without
Microscope.?
☻TEACHER
– Your
Chemistry exercise
was bad, I told you
to write it 20 times.
You’ve written it
only 10 times.
PAPPU – Is it ma’am.?
Guess My Maths
is also Bad.!
☻RAJU
– Did you
Hear Raghu Snoring
during the morning
School Prayer.?
RAGHU – Yes, he was the
one who Woke me up.!
☻TEACHER
– Where is
The English Channel.? PAPPU – I don’t know.
Our TV Channel picks up
Only Local channels.
☻TEACHER
– Why were you gossiping around during
my lecture.
PAPPU – It’s impossible,
how do you expect me
to sleep and talk at
the same time.?
☻GEOGRAPHY
TEACHER -
If it were possible for me
to make a hole in India
right through the earth, were would it come
out.? PAPPU – At the other end, Sir.
☻BIOLOGY
TEACHER -
Define a Practical Nurse.? PAPPU – A Practical
Nurse
is one who
Marries a Rich Patient.
☻CHEMISTRY
TEACHER -
What happens to Gold
when it is exposed to air.? PAPPU – It is
probably
Stolen.!
☻PHYSICS
TEACHER -
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.?
☻Teacher
: Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
No Good at Math.!
☻TEACHER:
Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go
Slow.”
☻TEACHER:
Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using
tables!
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