International Facebook Status

→ Go to Google maps, bring up directions from Washington D.C. to Japan and look at instruction number 48.

→ I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

→ I can’t wait till 2013 so I can laugh at everyone who thought the world was going to end in 2012.

→ I wish our lawn was emo so it would cut its self

→ If love is a battlefield than my bedroom is Switzerland.

→ I walk the streets with a smile on my face while looking up. Just in case the cameras of Google Maps are filming.

→ The Texas Rangers made it to the World Series? I didn’t know Chuck Norris had a baseball team.

→ No matter what happens in England, my queen will always be Latifah.

→ New Mexico: it’s not new, and it’s not Mexico.

→ Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.

→ You’re not an American until you’ve eaten more than the serving suggestion.

→ ”Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Irish.” “Irish who?” “Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

→ The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings.