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Statistics Facebook Status

→ We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

→ She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

→ 24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case … coincidence?

→ Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average

→ 9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

→ Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

→ 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

→ The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.

→ If I could be any arithmetic operation, I’d be subtraction. I just want to make a difference.

→ If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?

→ If the person is more than 25 feet away from you, holding the door is creepy

→ I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

→ 10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.

→ Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool

→ Look, math. Quit asking us to find your X. Let’s face it. She’s never coming back to you.

→ “Does size matter?” “Yes I told you 2 inches makes a huge difference. Now just buy the damn laptop dad, this conversation is creeping me out”.

→ Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

→ How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

→ I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

→ Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.