The Largest Collection of Funny Quotes, Facebook Status, Funny SMS, Whatsapp Status & Tweets

Most Liked Facebook Status

→ Don’t underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers

→ I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. It’s nothing personal, but some people need to realize that sometimes I don’t feel like talking.

→ That awkward moment when the dentist asks you a question while their whole hand is shoved in your mouth.

→ Oh so now I’m invisible to you? That’s cool. I’ve always wanted a superpower.

→ The awkward moment when you open a birthday card and there’s no money in it.

→ Just realized: “Google before you status update” is the new “think before you speak.”

→ Does anyone really “Laugh Out Loud” when they write LOL?

→ People who gossip with you, most likely gossip about you.

→ If anyone catches me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them until it is equally awkward for both of us.

→ No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

→ It doesn’t matter what other people think about you. The only thing that matters is that you are happy with who you are.

→ Why cant they make the whole week out of Saturdays?

→ The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift…thats why they call it the “present”!

→ There will be always that one teacher asking you a question and your friend next to you whispering the answer.

→ Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should & let go of what you can’t change.

→ Your life is a book; don’t jump to the end to see if it’s worth it. Just enjoy life and fill those pages with beautiful memories.

→ That awkward moment when you get tagged in a photo on a night, at a place that you said you weren’t…

→ ♥ Love me now ♥ Love me never ♥ But if You Love Me ♥ Love me Forever ♥

→ You wanna know who’s amazing & has the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again 🙂

→ ┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction

→ That awkward moment when you don’t know if you should hold the door for someone or not.

→ The awkward moment when someone brings up an embarrassing moment from your past that you do not wish to be reminded of.

→ LIKE IF: You sat down to check Facebook real quick and…an hour later, you’re still here.

→ The fact that music can induce goosebumps, draw a tear, inspire, and connect is one of my favorite parts of being a human.

→ The awkward moment when you think you’re talking to your friend but then realize you’re talking to a stranger beside you.

→ True: This is just Facebook, and not English class, but Damn can some of y’all at least type so we can understand what you’re trying to say?

→ Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.

→ I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.

→ My teacher always is talking to her imaginary friend named “Class”.

→ Dear Facebook, I can’t believe you still haven’t gotten that dislike button. Sincerely, YouTube.

→ Being single doesn’t mean you know nothing about love. Sometimes, its wiser to be alone than with the wrong person.

→ I looked up “thesaurus” in my thesaurus and it says “Don’t be a smart-ass”.

→ Unwritten Facebook rule #5 : If that person isn’t in the photo, don’t tag them.

→ They’re called “skinny jeans” not “make you skinny jeans”.

→ Going to: ❒ Paris ❒ New York ❒ London ✔ KITCHEN, I’m hungry.

→ The awkward moment when halfway through telling a story you realize it is pointless.

→ That awkward moment when your mother compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than you.

→ Why do they try to make pet food in TV commercials look good to humans?

→ A boy gave a girl 13 roses, 12 were real, one was fake,then the boy said to the girl, I will love you till the last rose dies.

→ Perfect people aren’t real, and real people aren’t perfect. So you can either love people for their flaws, or hate them because they’re real.

→ Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.

→ That awkward moment after you pour your cereal into the bowl thinking you have milk… only to realize you don’t have milk at all.

→ What Is FACEBOOK ? . . . . It’s a place where a Guy posts a joke, he gets No Response… and if a Girl posts the same Joke, She gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests.

→ My alarm clock is jealous of the relationship I have with my bed. It always try to wake me up!

→ Facebook = Heavily populated city. Twitter = Just a vacation spot. Myspace = A ghost town.

→ 3 words, 8 letters, 3 syllables, 5 vowels, 3 consonants, 2 nouns, 1 emotion, many meanings, a big lie, a rare truth: I LOVE YOU !

→ Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they’re all panicked over who’s getting deleted.

→ I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I’ve been hurt but I’m alive. I’m human, I’m not perfect but I’m thankful.

→ Dear iTunes, Please realize that when I put you on “shuffle”, I mean “play all of my favorite songs”. Sincerely, skip… skip… skip…

→ Facebook should get a “I don’t even know you” button, for the people who like to try to add people they don`t know.

→ Don’t leave something good to see if you can find better, because once you realize you had the best, the best found better.

→ I’m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat… 😀

→ The awkward moment when you get into one little fight and your mum gets scared and makes you move in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air.

→ Boys insult each other, but they really don’t mean it. Girls compliment each other but they don’t mean it either.

→ That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.

The best 2 days of school are always the first and the last.

→ ▶Music♩♪♫♬ Volume: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ █ 100 %

→ That Awkward Moment When your crush asks you, “Who do you like?”

→ If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

→ That awkward moment, where theres an awkward moment, and everyone knows it’s an awkward moment, then somebody says, “AWWWKKKKWAAARRDD!”

→ That awkward moment when you have to make up an excuse to not hang out with someone because you’d rather chill at home.

→ Flies are everywhere, unfortunately the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.

→ That awkward moment when someone isn’t txting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile…

→ The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve…

→ That awkward moment when someone you don’t know adds you on Facebook and they message you asking who you are. B*tch, you added me!

→ I think i have a serious problem—Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the “Like” button.

→ The awkward moment when you understand something after the test.

→ People think I’m in a bad mood just because I’m being quiet.

→ I am NOT single, and I am NOT taken. I’m simply on reserve for the one who REALLY deserves to have my heart..

→ I don’t make typos. I make new words.

→ I hate when its quiet and your eating something crunchy.

→ Most relationships fail not because of absence of love; but because girls love too much & boys love too many.

→ The awkward moment when you’re singing really loudly to a song and then someone changes it without warning.

→ Don’t feel special I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

→ That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!

→ Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications.

→ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ Sorry, I just dropped my bag of Doritos.

→ The awkward moment when someone walks in on you singing to yourself.

→ I like talking to myself, answering myself, and laughing at my own jokes.

→ That awkward moment when sarcasm doesn’t work in a text..

→ The awkward moment when you’re late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.

→ “Who’s that?” “What are they doing?” “What’s happening?” ; “Shut the hell up and watch the movie”.

→ LIKE if you always wonder if someone, somewhere is doing the same exact thing as you are.

→ LIKE if you do this: Waking up and checking your Facebook like its the morning paper.

→ LIKE IF:Losing your phone in your blanket, then having to throw the blanket around until it falls out.

→ “Dad I’m hungry.” “Nice to meet you hungry!” “Dad, I’m serious…” “I thought you were hungry?” “Are you kidding?!” “No, I’m Dad.”

→ Today I went on & searched “ninjas”. The computer told me “Ninjas cannot be found”. Well played, ninjas, well played.

→ The awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still don’t know what they said.

→ Dear Heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that’s it.

→ I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.

→ “LOL” is the new way of saying “I really have nothing to say.”

→ People think I’m in a bad mood just because I’m being quiet.

→ The awkward moment when someone catches you staring at them.

→ That awkward moment when someone spells your name wrong on Facebook even though your name is RIGHT THERE!

→ That awkward moment when your dancing, then you turn around & you realize someone has been watching you the WHOLE time.

→ The awkward moment when the person you like is online and you just open the chat window but don’t know what to say.

→ Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

→ When someone smells nice, it automatically makes them more attractive.

→ LIKE IF you put things in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is ツ

→ Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried 🙂

→ LIKE if you have like 50 t-shirts but you only wear 7 of them and complain that you have no clothes…

→ The awkward moment when you’re at your friends house and your friend is getting yelled at so you just stand there and pet the dog.

→ That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow…

→ The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.

→ Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

→ Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.

→ The awkward moment when you check the price tag… and sadly, go away.

→ Dear life. When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.

→ fri(END] , boyfri(END] , girlfri(END] Everything has an END , exept for fam(ILY] .

→ Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. LIKE if you got 5.

→ Just because I don’t talk to you, or text you first, doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. I’m just waiting for you to miss me.

→ The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.

→ Yea, I end a Facebook conversation by hitting the (LIKE) button on the last comment.

→ 3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die. ♥

→ LIKE if you hate when someone tags you in a horrible picture.

→ That awkward moment when you can’t stop laughing while telling a joke and when your finally done your friends doesn’t even get it.

→ The awkward moment when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it octopus.