The Largest Collection of Funny Quotes, Facebook Status, Funny SMS, Whatsapp Status & Tweets

Daring Quotes Status SMS

→ You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful… It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!
→ I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the …… Wait a moment…. oh no, I do have the right number…
→ Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the bathroom, I think of you !
→ I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink ! O damned My sigarette has fallen in my glass of beer ..

→ I wish you lots of itching and short arms.
→ You have the face of a saint…a Saint-Bernard!
→ Will we play the hulk together??…..I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!!!
→ If you did not have any feet, would you wear shoes?? …no… why do you wear a bra????!!!
→ A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men!
→ Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..
→ Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell ‘IQ’ ?
→ I am born this way, but what is your excuse?
→ I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !
→ Some people die. Others become a teacher…
→ The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier.
→ Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.
→ If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too stoned to get up!!
→ When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I’m a lady and I play with boys!!
→ You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea.
→ When are you really full of confidence? ………….. If you fart having diarrhoea.
→ Roses are red … Violets are blue … but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!
→ On the door of a toilet….Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
→ Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.
→ Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!
→ He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable, squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke.
→ A woman is a marvellous creation, she produces milk without eating grass, she bleeds without being hurt, gets wet even when it does not rain and sucks without needing power.
→ It is red and it taps on the window ……………….. A baby in a microwave.
→ I like your style … I like your class … but most of all I like your ass