The Largest Collection of Funny Quotes, Facebook Status, Funny SMS, Whatsapp Status & Tweets

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→ To do ist to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra)

→ It’s the one who won’t be taken, who can not seem to give.

→ It’s the soul afraid of dying … That never learns to live

→ It’s the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.

→ It’s the heart afraid of breaking … that never learns to dance.

→ Boys say it’s great, boys say it’s fine. 9 months later they say it’s not mine !

→ Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world – Nelson Mandela

→ Death is the greatest kick of all. That’s why they save it for last!

→ Don’t drink and drive home!! Take a joint and fly home!!

→ Home is where the heart is born, lives and dies but still goes on !→ Stoners live and stoners die, but in the end we all get high. So if at first you don’t succeed, fuck this world and smoke some weed.→ If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.→ Shit happens, life goes on!→ Free your mind the rest will follow.→ Work sucks … Ladies go to work.→ A beginning is a very delicate time.→ Life is what happens when you plan to do other things – John Lennon→ Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.→ Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!→ Reality is for people who can’t face science fiction.→ Learn from the mistakes of others… you can’t live long enough to make them all yourselves!!→ Life is like toilet paper, long and usefull !!!!→ On the toilet: Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!→ Love is an sensation. Caused by an temptation when an men puts his dictation in an womens combination. Do u get this conversation or do u want an demostration

→ All I ever wanted is what others have.

→ Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot.

→ A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition.

→ Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away!

→ It is better to be fair than to be popular!

→ The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue.

→ Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment.

→ Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time!

→ I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.

→ I see things the way they are and say: Why? ……………… I dream of things that never were and say: Why not?

→ Life is what happens when you plan to do other things — John Lennon

→ copernicus said:”men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts.”

→ Law of Murphy….. Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later……Murphy was an optimist.

→ It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

→ A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy

→ A lot of people were never happy because they thought it had yet to come.

→ A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

→ I want to die sleeping, just like my grandfather ….. Not yelling and screaming like the people on his bus.

→ He said:”I thank you for the wonderful talk.” … I had only been listening.

→ When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject.

→ The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.

→ The present is just as mysterious as the future.

→ People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed.

→ You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories.

→ Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.

→ Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear.

→ What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign “Forbidden to swim?”

→ Be yourself, there are enough other people.