The Largest Collection of Funny Quotes, Facebook Status, Funny SMS, Whatsapp Status & Tweets

Pickup Facebook Status

→ I have a pen, you have a phone number… think of the possibilities.

→ Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again??? 🙂

→ You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

→ Are you a parking ticket, because you have got fine written all over you!

→ Every single female thinks she can change a player, but the truth is, it`s not the player that needs to change, it`s the women. Because every player is on a mission to find that one girl that makes him lose his desire to play.

→ Girls are like potatoe chips, you cant just have one.

→ I gave the waitress a napkin with my phone number in Roman numerals.
If she can decipher it, she deserves it. 🙂

→ Hi, I`m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

→ Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.

→ I`m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

→ You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.

→ is single…and you`re going to have to be freakin` awesome to change that!!

→ Hey Baby, You Wanna Come Over To Myspace & Twitter My Yahoo Till I Google All Over Your Facebook?

→ Wanted: Friend with benefits. Benefits are as follows: HONEST, LOYAL, MATURE. . . p.s. HELPS IF YOU`RE HOT.

→ met a beautiful girl at the bar and asked if I could buy her a drink. “I have a boyfriend.” She answered. Without skipping a beat I said, “I have a goldfish.” Confused, she said, “What?”…To which I replied, “Sorry. I thought we were talking about shit that doesn`t matter”

→ You are a 9.999. Well, you`d be a perfect 10 if you were with me

→ I think even if I never met you; I would still miss you.

→ When someone is flirting with you.. Please cooperate.

→ You`ve got the cutest smile, eyes that shine like the stars and words that could brighten up anybody’s day.

→ You caught me staring, but I caught you staring back.

→ My Future Wife will LOVE how I seduce her. She has NO idea what she is in for..

→ is looking for a meaningful overnight relationship

→ We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .

→ Like this status if you think I’m cute. Comment if we have had good memories together. Poke me if you’ve ever wanted to date me.

→ Is the one thing women love more than a sale!

→ I really want to talk to you, I just don`t know what to say…

→ Let`s flip a coin to determine our future. Tails; we`ll be together. Heads; we`ll flip again.

→ I`m not single, I`m “Riding Solo.”

→ Don’t flatter yourself. I was looking at your friend.

→ Oh, I see you`re playing hard to get. I`m gonna play walk away.

→ Unplanned moments are always better then the planned ones!

→ You breathe oxygen? wow! we have so much in common ♥

→ Everybody`s online, except the one you actually want.

→ Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

→ Guy: I have two words Girl: What are they? Guy: I love you. Girl: But that`s three words.. Guy: no, because you and I count as one.

→ “Are you free tomorrow?“ No, i’m expensive.

→ Could you please step away from the bar? You`re melting all the ice.

→ If beauty were time, you would be an eternity.

→ Always single, never alone! 🙂

→ Your heart is like a cake. You have everything but me. Cos I`m your secret ingredient ♥

→ ♥ 100 % Single =) ♥

→ Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

→ I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

→ You know my name. Not my game.

→ Happy Single Awareness Day

→ I know they all look so good from a distance but I tell you, I`m the one.

→ If you don`t like my rules, then don`t play my game.

→ Yeah you know you like me.. You can`t hide it. I can see it in the way you tease me 😉

→ ☐ Single ☐ Taken ☑ None of your concern

→ I like being single. I`m always there when I need me.

→ A player might take an occasional timeout, but he`ll always return to the game.

→ Dedicated to each and every pretty girl out there – Whenever i am flirting with you, please co-operate 🙂

→ I need someone really bad, are you really bad?? 🙂

→ while waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

→ That smile a girl gives you after you made eye contact for 3 seconds!

→ If girl talk sweetly she is friendly, if boy talks sweetly he is a flirt

→ I am thinking of learning French, I think French Kiss is the best way to start things

→ Is your name Summer…? `Cause you are as hot as hell…!

→ I thought algebra was hard to get, but then I met you.

→ You wanna know whos amazing & got the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again 🙂

→ Wanted by MANY… Taken by NONE… Looking at SOME… Waiting for ONE

→ I`m single. I`m happy. But I do need somebody to love!

→ I don`t flirt. Its called being nice with string attached 🙂

→ I am wanted by many. I am looking at some, I am taken by none but I am waiting for the one.

→ You have two options, Be mine or make me yours see I am giving you two choices!!!

→ I feel bad for everyone that isn`t dating me.

→ Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come to someone`s life.

→ They say when penguins find their mate, they stay together for the rest of their lives ♥…will you be my penguin?

→ I`m not single and I`m not taken. I`m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart

→ For every girl with a broken heart, there`s a guy with a glue gun.

→ I was going to give you a dirty look, but it seems you already have one.

→ Let`s flip a coin. If heads your mine, if tails, let`s flip again.

→ When I saw your smile for the first time I thought I was in paradise.

→ If you`re searching for someone to be loved, find me. I`m the one for you.

→ Dear Someone, probably I`m no one for you, but definitely, you`re my world. Sincerely, your secret admirer.

→ I think I`m gonna take a hot shower. It`s like a normal shower but with me in it.

→ You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think I`M cute

→ See how her arms are folded across her chest? Boy, she`s literally holding herself together all because of you.

→ Yes I am single, no you don`t have a chance.

→ I`m the girl your ex will hate, your mother will love, and the one you`ll want to be with forever .

→ Technically, I`m single. But my heart is taken by someone I can`t call my own

→ I like you, you like me- why exactly are we not together again?

→ There Must Be Something Wrong With My Eyes, I Can`t Take Them Off You

→ Sometimes, “I`m single” means “I`m drama free” “less stressed” and “I refuse to settle for less.”

→ Is still single… but thinking about someone on my Facebook friend list