Money Facebook Status
→ A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
→ Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
→ Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
→ A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
→ A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
→ Money talks…but all mine ever says is good-bye.
→ It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
→ Materialism: buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.
→ I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
→ A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
→ Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
→ If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the store is free yet?
→ America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
→ Im so broke this New Year’s I’m gonna party like it’s $19.99.
→ I’ve finally figured out what homeless people spend their money on. It’s not clothes. It’s not booze. It’s not food. It’s sharpies and cardboard.
→ Money may not buy you happiness, but it would make it a lot easier to not be miserable.
→ Is walkin around the bank yelling:” ITS MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW”!!!!!!!
→ If you’re denied basic rights because of your sexuality, you shouldn’t have to pay taxes.
→ Why don’t hoarders ever hoard money?
→ If your boyfriend gets you flowers and chocolate for Valentine’s Day, it’s because he was saving money to get his real girlfriend jewelry.
→ My bank lets me send a text message and it’ll text back with my balance. It’s a cool feature but I didn’t think the LOL was necessary.
→ If I had the money I’d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
→ I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.
→ Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can’t get one unless you already have one.
→ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
→ Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
→ What happens in Vegas (losing your money) stays in Vegas (all your money).
→ It’s funny how the change jar slowly becomes all pennies.
→ Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
→ I’ll have a coke please . Hhmmm is Pepsi ok ? Hhmm how about no ! Is monopoly money ok ?
→ Forgotten pocket money is the best!!
→ I found a dollar the other day. It made me so happy that I had to sit down and reevaluate my life.
→ There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change
→ Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, just incase.
→ I always poop with the door open. But, I leave my seatbelt on so I don’t fall out of the car. Safety first.
→ “Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
→ Ten bucks says Slash has no idea where he is.
→ Waldo probably hides because he’s behind on his child support payments.
→ To make a lot of money is my one goal in life. Turns out my laziness and lack of ambition is a really good goalie.
→ A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
→ I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
→ Money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s a damn good down payment!
→ I miss those nights when we would stay up talking about nothing, but it meant everything.
→ Oprah makes $315,000,000/year = $26,000,000/month = $6,000,000/week = $850,000/day = $35,000/hour = $600/minute = $10/second
→ We need a new “that’s what she said”
→ can you not see the sky? thats whats up
→ Need money like you don’t work, hurt like you’ve never been loved, and watch like nobody is dancing.
→ I want to go on the “Price is Right” just to bid $4.20 on every item.
→ I’d rather hear 50 cent’s take on the economy than Sarah Palin’s. I bet he knows what economy means.
→ – “911, what’s your emergency?” – “Quick, my dreams are dying!”
→ You know its time to start saving when your debit card declines a $1.25 purchase.
→ One day I want to be “Let’s Just Take My Helicopter” rich.