Girls Facebook Status
→ Women are like google you just want one answer but u always end up getting a million other u don`t want. 😛
→ A woman will always forgive & forget.. But she`ll never let u forget that she had forgiven & forgotten..
→ A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often.
→ A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 😉
→ Women are completely defenseless….. until the nailpolish is dry. 😀
→ A woman can become dangerous for man in two cases: when he doesn`t satisfy her, and when he satisfies her.
→ It`s a girl`s world….guys just live in it..!!!
→ He taught me housekeeping. When we divorced, I keep the house.
→ A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new one.
→ Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
→ Just because you were happy with him, doesn`t mean you can`t be happy without him.
→ A real man doesn`t love a million girls, he loves one girl in a million ways ♥
→ You`re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don`t come back for me. Don`t come back at all.
→ A man can love a million woman, but it takes a real man to love a woman in million ways.. 🙂
→ Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
→ Dear Lord: I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods, because, Lord, if I pray for strength ill beat him to death. AMEN
→ Box of Tampax —- $8
Bottle of Midol —–$6
New Sweatpants –$12
The fact that the male Walmart cashier wouldn`t even look me in the eye, like I might eat his soul or something… $PRICELESS$ Best first day of my period, EVER!!!
→ Girl you`re so plastic, you could be recycled.
→ Guys, you must know that if a girl loved you then, chances are she still loves you now.
→ Girls, when a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy (:
→ I hate texting you first, because it feels like I`m annoying you.
→ The hardest guy to get over is the one you never had.
→ Girls give & forgive. Boys get & forget.
→ Guy: “Hey girl, what`s your sexy name?” Girl: “Taken!”
→ The best accessory a girl can own is confidence.
→ A man`s kiss is his signature.
→ Behind every girl and boy with trust issues is an ex who caused them .
→ Boys are like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true.
→ All girls want is someone special to want them back
→ I’m a girl. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I dream big. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying.
→ I`m a girl. I can be complicated without explanations.
→ Go shopping. There is nothing that makes a woman feel better about herself than buying a new wardrobe.
→ 3 things that I want in a relationship: Eyes that won`t cry, Lips that won`t lie, and Love that won`t die!
→ 3 Main Reasons A girl Will Stop texting back:
1) You said something that pissed her off
2) YOu just started 2 get boring
3) She just fell asleep.
→ Behind every succesful man there is a women;so dont waste time in studies …..just find a women
→ Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and each other. If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked.
→ The best boyfriend isn’t the best looking, funniest, or the richest. It’s the 1 who`ll make u feel gorgeous, hilarious, & loves u best.
→ Girls.. If people talk behind your back, it simply means you are several steps ahead of them. Keep going!
→ I look like YES and you look like NO
→ Girls never mind staying up a bit longer just to talk to a guy they love 🙂
→ Why do guys cheat on PRETTY girls with UGLY girls?
→ I never believed any guy that told me I was beautiful. Thats when you came along and changed that <3 I love you :
→ I wasn`t born a princess, but if the crown fits… 🙂 ♥
→ FBI: Find Boys Immediately 😉
→ Awe that`s cute, how many OTHER girls did you say that too?
→ If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has. Don`t take her for granted.
→ If someone smells good, yes it does make them 10x more attractive.
→ You are the boy, and I am the girl. You text me first or we`re not going to talk today.
→ Dear boy, our small and silly conversation means more to me than you`ll ever know.
→ When you can`t appreciate a woman when she is doing her best for you, then do not expect her to be there in your time of need.
→ Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laughs I’m falling apart. Look at me closely and you will see: The girl I am just isn’t me.
→ If you want me, then show it. I`m not going to wait for you for my entire life.
→ Boy, you`ve got me like Nemo, lost.
→ Saying that I`m fat in front of people just to hear that I`m not fat.
→ You remind me of my next boyfriend.
→ Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again, because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts.
→ Girls, you will start to get hurt the moment you start to care!
→ The worst thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intentions of catching her
→ Dear Girls, Always remember The charming ones are just better liars.
→ I heard you are good in Algebra. Can you substitute my X without asking Y???
→ I blame Disney for my high expectations of boys!
→ You don`t always have to kiss a lot of frogs to recognize a Prince when you find one.
→ I like when boys text you first and say “Good morning”
→ Every girl needs someone to make her laugh, even if she thinks she will never smile again
→ Women need a reason to cheat, men just need another women…
→ Dear hair, if you just cooperated in the first place we wouldn`t have to do this the hard way. sincerely, girl with a flat iron
→ If a guy really loves a girl, the one and only thing he wanna change is her Last Name.
→ I need no reason to love you, but I need thousands of reasons to leave you.
→ Every girl deserves that one guy to make her smile and forget she ever had a broken heart.
→ The man of my dreams is never around when I`m awake.
→ Dear periods, you are the true definition of “bloody hell.” Sincerely, women.
→ Girls, rather than choose a guy who kind only to you, choose a guy who kind to everyone ♥
→ That awkward moment when the guy you like doesn`t reply to your text and you feel like jumping off the top of a building.
→ Ladies be careful.. A player might take an occasional timeout, be he`ll always return to the game!
→ When a girl says “have fun” to a boy, It normally means: “Have a freakin` horrible time.”
→ Sometimes I`m an angel, sometimes I`m cruel. But when it comes to love I`m just another fool.
→ The right person will love all the things about you that the wrong person took for granted.
→ A real woman doesn`t count how many guys she had in her life, but how many times she resisted guys for the man she really loves.
→ What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? single
→ At first, we pretend not to want their attention and then later we will do anything to get that attention – life of a girl.
→ Don`t be the woman that needs a man; guys take advantage of those people. Be the woman a man needs.
→ treat yourself as a queen, and you`ll attract a king!
→ Some guys are like commercials, you can`t believe a word they say
→ Just because her eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t cry….
→ Stop wanting his attention, and watch as he starts wanting yours. Works all the time:) we want what we don`t have.
→ Don`t let his sweet words FOOL you!
→ Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
→ That feeling after taking off heels.
→ You`re as chocolate, as you always make me feel better.
→ I`m a girl who usually laughs at her mistakes, so excuse me if I laugh in your face.
→ If a girl gets a free drink, it doesn`t mean she`ll be interested in you, it`ll only mean “YAY FREE DRINK!”
→ Boys think of girls just like books. If the cover doesn`t catch their eyes, they won`t even bother to read what`s inside.
→ If you choose between two guys, always pick the second one; If you really loved the first one, you would have never thought of the second one.
→ A girl`s smile hides thousand words, a girl`s tears hides thousand feelings.
→ I`m jealous of every girl that has ever hugged you, cause for one moment, they hugged my entire world.
→ You know it`s almost summer; when you have to shave your legs almost every day because you`re wearing shorts.
→ Nothing sexier than a girl that knows how to take control.
→ Guys get jealous just from seeing pictures of you and another guy anywhere ladies.
→ Boys have selective hearing. They really only hear what they want to hear.
→ Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: “Love will only fail when you fail to love!” Keep moving!
→ If he doesn`t love you at your worst If he doesn’t love you at your worst, he doesn’t deserve you at your best
→ She can talk about him all day but when he`s actually around she`s speechless
→ Every girl has that special boy she`ll never forget about.
→ I like being the girl nobody can have.
→ Admit it : We all wish we cud take our tummy fat And glue it to our boobs
→ Nice guys are found at every corner of the earth…too bad the earth is round.
→ Talking with your best friends about boys who you have crushes on.
→ If you leave without a reason, Don`t come back with an excuse.
→ Behind every hurt, sad, depressed girl who has no trust for guys is the dirt bag that made her that way.
→ Every girl has her bestfriend, her boyfriend, and her love. If she`s lucky, they`re all the same person.
→ Girls are like bluetooth, they are connected to you when you are around and when you are gone they find new ones but boys are like wifi, they are connected to different devices.
→ Ever since I met you, it hasn`t been the same. All you got me doing is drawing hearts around your name.
→ Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you.
→ I would love to see the “pretty girls” in my school remove their make up.
→ If you want me, show me. If you need me, tell me. If you have me, show me off. If I`m worth it, fight for me
→ Find someone who isn`t afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows you`re not perfect, but treats you as if you are
→ Real Men don’t love the most beautiful girl in the world, they love the girl who can make their world the most beautiful.
→ I`d rather hear a guy say “I made plans for us,” instead of the usual “I dunno, it`s whatever you wanna do.”
→ I just want a guy to say this to me when I`m in a situation “Don`t be afraid. I`m here.”
→ Last year I didn`t even know his name. But this year? I write it more then my own
→ A good friend once told me, “Don`t be a woman who needs a man,” “be a woman a man needs!”
→ Guys have no idea how long something they said can stay in a girls head
→ Don`t hold my hand if you aren`t willing to take everything that comes with it
→ They`re called “skinny jeans” not “make you skinny jeans”.
→ When a girl says, “I`m done,” it really means, “fight for me.”
→ A real woman avoids drama, she knows her time is precious and she`s not wasting it on unimportant people or things.
→ Boys are players; that`s a known fact; don`t get mad at them; just play them back.
→ I miss you, but I`m not going to text you first, because I want to see if you miss me more.
→ Sometimes the girl who`s always been there for everyone else, needs someone to be there for her.
→ No girl should ever forget that she doesn`t need someone, who doesn`t need her.
→ No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard the stories, but they didn`t feel what you felt in your heart.
→ Dear ladies.. All men with money aren`t smart. Sometimes a man`s money grows, but he doesn`t.
→ I wonder if Mr. Right exists. I`ve already met Mr. Player, Mr. Psycho, Mr. Lazy, Mr. User and Mr. Know it all.
→ Men are like a deck of cards. You`ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks:
→ The best feeling in the world is when you are about to look at him but realize that he is already staring at you.
→ As my boyfriend, you have an amazing taste in girls 😉
→ I’d love to see myself from a boy’s perspective.
→ Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
→ Every girl who looks happy with all those smiles and endless laughter, there’s this guy who made her so good at pretending.
→ He`s the kind of guy who makes you love your name just because he says it.
→ Never let a girl think she has a chance when you know she doesn`t.
→ You can`t turn a bad girl good. But once a good girl`s gone bad, she`s gone forever.
→ The awkward moment when your boyfriend`s hair is so much better than yours
→ A woman should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to think like a man.
→ A real woman doesn’t count how many guys she had in her life, but how many times she resisted guys for the man she really loves.
→ I don`t want to be your “favorite” or your “best”. I want to be your “only”, and f*ck the rest.
→ Call a girl pretty and she will remember it for 5 minutes. Call a girl ugly and she will remember it forever.
→ I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
→ Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
→ Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.
→ Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
→ How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
→ Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
→ To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
→ Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
→ Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
→ Most women don’t know where to look when they’re eating a banana.
→ The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
→ I think my girlfriend’s hallucinating. She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.
→ At the beginning of a relationship, I wonder if women rub their hands together and say “Let the games begin!”
→ When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
→ Women live longer than men because typically women don’t get married to women.
→ (Glass breaks) woman: I think someones breaking in! Man: I’ll take care of this (grabs a toilet brush) Woman: A toilet brush? What are you going to do scrub him to death? Man: Would you want to be touched with this?
→ When the Spice Girls chose their “Spicy” alter-ego nicknames, the girl with the biggest boobs should have chosen to go by Spice Rack
→ Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
→ If you’re on the show “16 and Pregnant” you have a pretty good chance of being on the follow-up show “32 and a Grandmother”
→ Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession
→ I saw an elderly women wearing a “Guess” sweatshirt the other day so I said …82?? She didnt smile
→ I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I’m marrying my dreams
→ If a girl destroys your house, keys your car, and tries to get you arrested, its not love. She’s crazy
→ Why is it that all females have an attraction towards a stripper pole ?? Its like a magnet !!
→ Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don’t want her to meet her competition right away
→ I borrowed my wife’s GPS. All it’s doing is yelling at me to slow down.
→ Always believe a woman when she says: “You don’t want to know!”
→ If men can go around joggin shirtless… I believe “SOME” women should be able to do the same as well!
→ A woman rarely discards one lover until she is sure of another.
→ Got my hair done again. I’m so blonde now I can barely spell my last name.
→ Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
→ smiling is the best makeup a girl can wear
→ What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get tired, I put the mirror down.
→ This body was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well
→ Girls make as much sense as the ingredients in Four Loko.
→ Nothing warms a woman’s heart more than a man revealing his.
→ You show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.
→ If a girl compliments your dress, then you’re wearing a pretty dress. If a guy compliments your dress, then you’re wearing a slutty dress